Will you ever forgive me?
by StarrySea
Summary: The Giant War is over! But there is some heartbreak attached. -"I was hallucinating, and I saw her as a monster. It was my sword... It went right through her heart."- 'what if' AU.


**This is like take 2 of Will You Ever Forgive me? I read this a couple of weeks ago, decided that it was confusing and weird sounding... So yeah: revised version!**

**Basically, this takes place after the Argo 2 and the war against Gaea is over. Vague for obvious reasons. (incomplete prophecies, more books in the series.)**

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><p>When the time came, Percy wasn't ready.<p>

But then again, he would never be.

He wore a Camp Half-Blood shirt, after months in a purple one, but it felt wrong.

Everything did.

The amphitheatre was full of Greek half-bloods, far fewer than there should've been, even after the final battle.

So they had won. But, he had nothing to show for this fight but loss after loss.

He joined the group of demigods standing near the fire. Even if they hadn't been standing together, it would be easy to tell them apart: red eyes, black circles, rough appearances, soft and cracking voices. The kids who wouldn't look you in the eye because they were in pain.

The best surviving friends who got to light the pyres. And Percy Jackson was part of them.

Chiron began the ceremony and one by one the group said tearful goodbye's, some could hardly make it through a word without crying again; but all lit the fire and passed the torch.

Percy was second to last. The girl before him, a daughter of Iris, was shaking as she spoke about her sister. She passed the wooden torch to him and ran to sit down with her cabin.

He gripped the torch, staring at the silken grey shroud that her siblings had placed on the pyre. It was just so wrong.

He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, anything at all. But no words came.

"Percy," Chiron prompted.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." He managed.

He lit the fire and watched the flames dance across the grey.

The kid behind him took the torch out of his hand.

Percy couldn't take it anymore. He ran from the amphitheatre, wishing they could be burning his shroud as well.

He crashed into my cabin and broke down on his bunk, completely overtaken by guilt.

Almost immediatedly, Rachel Dare marched in.

"What are you doing?" She demanded.

"You expect me to sit in there and act like everything is ok? News flash, Rachel: it's not ok."

He fell back and stared at the bunk above him, wishing she would leave.

"She has an entire cabin of brothers and sisters who aren't ok. Grover is not ok. Tyson is not ok. Thalia is not ok. God, Percy, I'm not ok! You weren't her only friend."

"But I'm the only one who killed her." Percy said quietly. "I was hallucinating, and I saw her as a monster. It was my sword," He shook his head. "It went right through her heart."

"Stop it. It wasn't your fault." She said, tears tracing her cheeks.

"If I had listened to her... She yelled my name..." He stared at Annabeth's picture and pulled it off the wall.

Her blonde hair fell to shoulders; she wore a Camp Half-Blood t-shirt and holding her Yankees cap. Smiling. Wonderful. Alive.

"You couldn't have, that poison... It's a miracle you survived it."

"I don't know if I want to be alive anymore,"

"Don't say that Percy," She leaned back against Tyson's bunk. "If you had both died..." She shook her head. "Just don't talk like that,"

"You don't need me, Jason is a leader. I'm not the hero anymore, Rachel."

"But, you're alive, and she would want you to _live_."

"Even it she can't?"

"I'm not saying to go off and party _tonight_. I'm just saying there's a point where you'll have to move on."

"And forget her?"

"Calm down." She closed her eyes.

"I just killed my best friend and you want me to be calm?"

"Look, just don't stay in here forever or you'll drive yourself insane."

He didn't respond. Even though Rachel would deny it, everyone else completely faulted him with Wise Girl's death. And Percy couldn't blame them.

Rachel took one long look at the picture he held, then she turned and strode towards the door.

With her hand on the knob, she turned around and said, "Just don't do anything stupid, Percy."

Then she left.

Percy waited until he knew she was gone before he got up and grabbed Riptide to go do something really stupid.

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><p>Percy watched the Apollo kids head off to archery practice, leaving cabin 7 empty.<p>

He pushed open the golden doors and went into the cabin. On a bunk, a yellow iPod nano lay wrapped up in earbuds. Leave it to the children of the god of music to break the rules over a stupid iPod.

He grabbed it and ran back outside to the stables.

_Hey, boss_. Blackjack spoke in his mind.

"Hey, Blackjack,"

_Where are we flying? _

Central Park.

As they soared in over the highway and into the city, Percy tried to convince himself that this really was a good idea. But his mind was too muddled to form a conplete thought. Especially now.

Blackjack landed near the pile of boulders: the door of Orpheus.

He told Blackjack to head on back to camp, and the pegasus spiralled up into the clouds and out of site.

_"Don't do anything stupid."_

Oh well.

He turned up the iPod up all the way and picked a random track. It was some sort of country song: a guy singing about his tractor...

After a moment, rocks groaned open, and he stepped out of the sunlight.

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><p>Percy went down, down, down, into the darkness.<p>

The last time he had been here was four summers ago. When he took a dip in the Styx. He saw Annabeth…

The narrow stairway expanded into a massive cavern that went on into endless gloom.

He managed to sneak past the over crowded security gates, and into the colossal fields of Asphodel. He didn't even bother to search for her face among the throngs of fading souls there. If anyone was ever a hero, it was Annabeth.

He just pressed on toward Elysium.

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><p>The tricky part would be getting past the golden gates and the guards. The guards were probably just ornamental, but they definitely wouldn't let anyone alive in.<p>

Wouldn't that be a stupid way to die, Percy thought, getting skewered by a ghost for breaking into the underworld.

A horn sounded across Elysium and another set of gates opened, letting out a cluster of glowing souls.

"Lethe," A voice said next to him.

Percy jumped back. A ghost had appeared beside him.

The shade laughed, a tinny hollow sound. "I didn't mean to startle you, lad."

"Yeah," Percy muttered, "It's ok."

"They go to the river. She is among them." The ghost nodded and vanished.

"Who? Who's among them?"

_Annabeth, of course_. Part of him thought. But how could a random ghost know about her?

Only one thing to do: follow them.

Percy stayed far up the bank of the river Lethe. He knew what the waters did, and he didn't want to forget everything in his life: again.

The shades were slowly arriving, spreading out down the riverbank and either waiting or plunging right in.

Percy walked the shore, looking at the shades on the far bank.

The last soul was standing far away from the others, staring at the ground. She looked familiar.

She took a deep breath and tucked a blonde curl behind her ear. Her orange t-shirt was stained with blood, so much so that it looked more like a red shirt with a splash of orange here and there.

His heart pounded as he watched her silently.

She took three wary steps forward until her feet were an inch from the water.

"Don't!" He yelled.

She looked up, and her stormy grey eyes met his. She shook her head sadly, like she couldn't bear to see him, and squeezed her eyes shut, like she was holding back tears.

"Why-? What-?" He couldn't form a complete sentence.

_I did this. I did this. _

Her voice was like a rusty knife in his heart. "Why have you come?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I never wanted to... I couldn't have... Oh my gods, Annabeth." He found himself on his knees, close to tears, again.

"I need you to stop falling to pieces," The ghost of Annabeth said, "I'm getting a fresh start. Starting now."

"You can't... You can't just give up your mind, your memories... _We_ will be gone forever."

She shook her head. "I have to."

"I never wanted this to happen to you! You wouldn't even be here if I weren't for me!"

"Percy, _you_ won't go into the water. So we _won't_ be gone forever. Keep on living, Seaweed Brain. I don't want you to die with me."

And she faded.

Percy sobbed. "Will you ever forgive me?"

She appeared next to him and nodded. "Goodbye, Percy. Perhaps I'll see you in another life." And she walked into the river.

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><p><strong>Yay for revisions! This is a major renovation of the original, hope you liked it!<strong>

**Click the big blue button and tell me what you think!**


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